Special post

The book of Philippians is one of the smaller books in the Bible that can we can use as a life source alone. In this book, the apostle Paul is writing to the church of Philippi. He has been traveling and sharing the gospel of Christ and going through the sufferings and persecutions of Jesus Christ as well. He is writing this letter from a jail cell. He does not know whether or he will get out alive and yet he writes some words of wisdom this church he has come to love. In this post I am not going to talk so much about the metaphors (sorry to disappoint) but I am going to talk more on my own interpretation and how I have applied to my own life. I think that out of all the texts we have read, I have enjoyed readings that came from the bible the most. As I said before, I feel like the Paul’s letter to the Philippians is most relevant to how we should live our lives today. One of first things that Paul writes about in his letter is how the prison guards have all come to know Jesus Christ through him. He emphasizes that even his imprisonment is not in vain. His circumstances were for the defense of the gospel. I feel like the central theme of the this letter is every circumstance we go through is not in vain and God always has a purpose for it.  One of the things I do want to touch on is when Paul states “For to me, to live as Christ and to die is gain.” I think a lot of people skip over this statement because it can be hard understand. In our society, we typically do not look at dying as something good or gaining anything. The simple interpretation of that quote is that if we live as Jesus lived, we will surly have eternity with him when we die. That in itself is a gain because the things of this earth or only temporary but heaven is eternal. I hope that makes sense. I think people over think some things in the Bible, but in reality, there is a lot that is self explanatory. However, this could bring up the question, what if someone does not live as Christ, but he or she was still saved, would it be a benefit to die? Just a thought.

When I was an intern at my church, we had to go through a boot camp type thing in which we were running, doing push-ups, repeating Bible verses to the leaders, and other team building stuff. One of the quotes we had to repeat over and over again is “You must have the same attitude as Christ Jesus had.” Well, what does that mean to have the attitude of Christ? One would think that everyone should have the same attitude since everyone is on the same page, right?  The fact is, is that people have different interpretations of what that actually means because people often take the words of Jesus is different way.  To have the attitude of Christ means to value what Jesus values. If we want to know what Jesus valued, read the Sermon on the Mount. Since Christ gave himeself for us, we should give ourselves for others. One of the things that Paul says that always catches my attention when he talks about the value of knowing Christ. He says that what he thought was important, has now been a loss because of Christ. He also says that he considers everything to be a loss compared to the value of know Christ. We can look at this verse is a couple different ways. I am not sure if Paul meant this as something  physical or if he just meant spiritually. Maybe it was a combination of both. If you go back to the book of Mark, Jesus is asking the rich man to sell all his stuff. Of course that story alone, teaches us that the value of know Christ is much greater than physical stuff. So when I read this in Paul’s letter, I interpret it as anything in my own life that I consider important, whether that be friends, a job, my image; all those things should be considered worthless compared to having God. If we jump a few paragraphs, Paul encourages the church of Philippi to not worry about anything but to pray about everything. In these economic times, worrying is America’s middle name, but Paul tells us otherwise. This is one of literal statements in his letter, but again we take it as a metaphor. Again, to not worry about anything and pray about everything is definitely literal. But do we actually pray about everything? Do we pray about what type of car we should get, what to do in a certain situation? Most people would say no. I only know one person in my life that I can say she truly prays about everything. Paul says that if we do this, “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To have a peace that is beyond our human understanding is an extraordinary thing. When we say that we have a peace that we cannot understand, it is true evidence that God working in our lives. As I said at the beginning this letter itself could be a source for life, but I think it all depends on how we take the words of Paul and apply it to  our lives.

angle man with wings

When I first started read the man with enormous wings, it was a little hard for me to catch on. As I began to understand it more I saw that it was kind of magic and spiritual story. There is actually a lot of symbolism in the story. It starts off with Pelayo having a dream that he finds an old man, homeless with unusually large wings. After talking to his wife, they had the thought that the old man was an angel that came to take their sick child to heaven. They keep the old man in a chicken coop and find that the old man with wings is drawing in a crowd. Soon there were so many people that came for healings and what not, that the wife began to charge people for admission. Its interesting how the angel was so beat up and unattractive, yet so many people still flocked to him. The spiritual signifcance I see in this is Isaiah 53 when Isaish prophesies over the suffering servant. “ one of things it talks about in that chapter is how the suffering servant was not attractive to many. Then when we jump to the new testament, large crowds are constantly surrounding Jesus, not for his looks but for his miraculous healing power. People flock this “angel” partly on faith but also to see him perform miracles. Once they hear the story about the spider woman, the people devote their attention to the spider woman. Although the story is not less strange, the dirty old man who is supposedly an angel cannot match the appeal of a spider woman. I think a lot of our lives look that way. When we experience something that is satisfying, we tend to give our attention to that thing, whatever it may be. But like how the people lost interest in the old man, we lose interest in once we see something that looks better. When jesus walked earth, people were amazed by is healings and miracles but as soon as jesus started being real with people and telling them the way to live, they quickly lost interest and left. My thoughts are kind of jumbled but that’s what it made me think when I read this.

Philippians take 2

Yeah I was definitely one of those people who did not see all the metaphors. I think the bible is so full of metaphors and Christians speak metaphorically all the time, that if we were to try and look for metaphors in the bible it would be difficult for us to find them. I have read the book of Philippians a good number of times and always overlooked the metaphors. When we had to read it class and find all the metaphorical interpretations I was stumped. But after going over it in class, I was surprised that I didn’t see it before. One of my favorite quotes is “for to me, to live as Christ and to die is gain.” I believe that that is a literal statement. If we live on earth in the image of Christ, we gain much more when we die because we will be with God for eternity. I think that the Christian culture has turned scriptures like these into metaphors. So it’s almost like a reversed metaphor. A lot people interpret statements like that into “dyeing to self.” We have all heard that phrase before. But in that time when Jesus talked about losing a life, you will save it and when Paul talks about dying is gain, it was definitely literal. I just think it’s interesting at how we have interpreted it to be a metaphor. Another phrase that can be easy to miss is “God in you” or “God in your heart.” Again, we hear it so often that we forget that its not talking about our physical heart but our soul or inner being or the core of our emotions. The fact that Paul is in jail writing this letter is amazing to me. He is telling us not to worry and be content all while he awaits his fate.

Philippians

When I first saw that we were blogging about Philippians, I got excited because not only was I already familiar in this book, but it was something that I actually enjoyed. Score! Paul is in jail as he writes this letter to the church of Pilipi. He does not know whether or not he is going to make it out of jail alive or be executed. This is one of my favorite books in the bible because there re so many things that Paul says in this little book that we can apply to our lives today. One of the things that Paul says verse 21 of the first chapter is “for to me, to live as Christ and to die is gain.” I feel like we use that quote from the Bible a lot but we don’t really understand the significance let alone actually believe it. If we really believed that why are we not going out and risking our own lives for the sake of Jesus Christ. I couldn’t really find any metaphors in this book. Maybe I didn’t look closely enough. As many times as I have the book of Philippians, I mostly look at as a reminder for life. I when I read a little more closely, I came upon the part where Paul was talking about doing ministry with Timothy. In chapter two he says “like a son with his father, he has served with me preaching the good news.” In chapter four, Paul goes on speaks words of encouragement to the church. He tells us not to worry about every but in everything with prayer and petition to God giving thanks. I haven’t heard of anyone who was in Jail and possibly on death row to speak words like that. He also talks about only think about things that are worthy to be praised as well as being content at where are. I feel like if threes anything we can apply to our lives today, it’s this entire book.

   On Friday night I went to see the man who came to dinner. I went as an usher to see for free. I can’t really say that helped me read anything better. I had a hard time understanding what the whole play was about. I think everyone was scratching their heads at the end of the first act wondering what the plot actually was. There were some funny parts in it like the running joke about the penguins. Overall, I thought everyone did an awesome performance. Our school is blessed to have such talented actors. But I am glad that I helped out as an usher.

           

When I look back at dr. Fettke’s essay, I can see that he is an inspiration to a lot of people. I think my favorite quote in the essay is

“for him to be “healed” would mean that who he is right now is of

little value. Also, for him to be “healed” would also mean that he

would not be who we have come to know him to be in his 23 years

of existence. Thus, he would not be the one whom God created as a

person who happens to be autistic”

I have great respect for dr. fettke and his wife as parents because they show that they have become content in who their son is.  We often look being disabled as some kind of curse or even to go as far as some kind of demon possession. But the way I see it is that these people in AFI are actually blessed beyond what most people can see. A lot them do not have the worries of this world or have concerns are the daily thing that “normal” people stress about. That is a huge blessing to have, to not know what is  better.

symbolism

It’s a symbol, or cymbal. Or a base or a snare. I had to throw my corny jokes in there J

I never looked into symbols like the reading in our text did.  When I worked at a summer camp this past summer, we had a lot of counselors who were from other countries like England, Scotland, and Australia. It was always fun and interesting to compare certain symbol with American and English culture. For example, when Americans hold up two fingers its like the sign for peace. But in England and Scotland, it’s a curse word. Its interesting how different symbols mean different words or phrases in different countries.  Sometimes we have to find out the hard way unfortunately. Towards the beginning of the story, it talks about stop signs and how we have naturally programmed in our minds that a stop is a red octagon with the word “stop” written in the middle. We would often pass by a stop sign with a different design because we have not programmed our minds think stop when we see something other than the red octagon. When I read this I couldn’t help but to think of how we look at the bible sometimes. In a common verse such as john 3:16, I think a lot of us have simply just memorized it and move on. But it takes a lot of attention to understand the fullness and meaning of john 3:16 and when we don’t see it or don’t get it, we just move on. We keep driving because something in front of us is unfamiliar and instead of stopping to look closely at the symbolism we just brush it off..Or run the stop sign.  

I also saw this play on friday night. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard for me to follow. I didnt really understand the plot of the play and it was actually kind of boring to me. I'm glad I was an usher.

So in the past couple blogs I mention that reading the articles by Dr. Fettke and going to the alliance for independence made me think of a story in John chapter 9 when Jesus healed a blind man from birth. I figured I would tell this time. “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. ² His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. ⁴ As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. ⁵ While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” The key part of that scripture is in verse 3. So that Gods work might be shown in him. In Dr. Fettke's article, he talks about how he asks questions to God about why his son is mentally disabled. there is a reason for everything and the very reason may be so that Gods work is lifted up and God gets more glory.  In the second page, he talks about creations and asks different questions pertaining to what “normal” is. Dr. fettke talks about a life force that most people have. The ability to think straight and be creative. One of the quotes he said stick out to me “Is it possible that Gods spirit  is still operative even in those we most often considered as having little ‘life force’?” I heard a story about a mentally disabled kid one time. his name was Gabriel and his parents were having a hard time accepting that their kid was disabled.  One of the things that Gabriel had trouble with was writing his name. when he started to be able to write it, he could only write the first three letters. And he would actually spell out the word GOD. Which answers dr. fettke’s question about the spirit being among the disabled.

This morning we took a field trip to the alliance for independence. I was not sure what to expect for this trip. All I knew was that we would be taking a tour. One of the first things I noticed was that the age range was pretty spread out among the people. Some were actually elderly. When Ashley, our tour guide was explaining how people got paid and how money and stuff works (I don’t completely understand how all the business and money stuff works) I realized that they don’t get much funding. They need to have fundraisers just to keep the place running. It made me kind of sad because I realized that people with special needs really are kind of pushed off to the side by the government. This was definitely an enlightening trip though! I love that everyone is together. It was like each classroom we went in, they were like a family. There were different group levels. There was the group that was ready to work and take care of themselves, the group just below them who were training to get jobs and the group below them who were learning basic life skills. Most of the people were doing elementary school work when went into the different classrooms. I thought it was great how the teachers allow them to study things that the students are interested in rather than making them learning something that they do not want to. Going on this trip helped me to understand the play better and I also enjoyed it more. This scene where Lucien speaks to the senate in an adult and articulate tone was the most moving for me. I definitely want to see the stage play to get a better feel of the story and dialogue. Thinking about people with special needs always brings me back to John 9 in the Bible.

more thoughts on Mary Oliver

The past few classes have been focused on nature. I never really focused on the bible having so much nature poetry in it. But it has been good to read different texts pertaining to nature. We read the short poems from Mary Oliver too. My favorite sections were six recognitions of the Lord and musical notations. I felt like these poems were a lot more accessible to me than the other poems we read. When we went outside to the lake, I found one of the quotes interesting to me when Corrigan was reading it out loud. “When I first found you, I was filled with light, now the darkness grows and it is filled with crooked things, bitter and weak, each one bearing my name.” When I heard that, I actually thought of myself. And for some reason, I liked the musical notation section. I did not understand it all the way but I still liked it. One of the lines said, “The luna moth, who lives but I few days, but sometimes only a few hours has a pale green wing whose rim looks like a musical notation. Have you noticed?” I didn’t even know what a luna moth was so I googled it. To be honest, I really could not see the musical notation. I was kind of disappointed but that just showed me that poetry really is someone else own interpretation of something even if it seems way off..

I started reading The Spirit of God Hovered. The first few paragraphs were pretty powerful. Why wouldn’t a parent question God for their son or daughters disability? In the text, the Steve Fettke said that having a son disabled from birth, caused him to question things that had to do with creation. As I was reading it, I thought of a cool story that a pastor told at a conference about a disabled child. Also what comes to mind is john 9:3. Look it up :-)

Right in front of me

poetry is not my thing, so bare with me:

The dry air, the hot sun,

I look around, and all I see is green

The color brown is strong, due to the lack of rain

the feel of “vacation spot Florida” disappears.

No palm trees, no beach, no Disney world signs

Plant like and animals dominate the fields

Looking at the lilies of the field

The flowers that grow

Everything constantly growing

Everything in its entirety,

On time and on schedule to when something blooms,

Grows, hatches, births,

Why do I still doubt Him?

How can I still doubt Him?

Is something not clear enough?

Or do I just ignore Him

Trees, grass, squirrels, alligators, the blue sky.

Everything is right in front to me

I look at my reflection in the pond

He is right in front of me

I went to Circle B bar reserve and stayed for at least 45 min. When I went to circle B bar nature reserve. I wanted to go to the place that was recommended because I actually do like sitting outdoors in silence. It’s a good time for me to pray, think and just have simple conversation with God. I wanted to go in the evening at sunset but I was running around too much so I had to go during the day, alone. I was definitely hot. When I got there, I saw a mom and her kids walk in one direction. I was going to walk behind them but I saw another path looked a lot shadier with all the trees hovering over it. As I walked on the path, I just listened, and prayed some. I was kind of disappointed because I hadn’t seen any significant body of water yet. I wanted to see some kind of lake that I could use my fifteen minutes of stillness at. I eventually turned around and started to walk in the direction that the sun was beating down. Before I headed down the path I saw a warning sign that gators live in the swamps. I started walking and the first thing I see is a swamp. No thank you. I turned around and chose another path to go. When I just sat for fifteen minutes, I took the time to listen and to the birds and insects. There were even these two squirrels chasing each other up and down a tree.  It was kind of funny because these squirrels were actually normal size, compared to the obese squirrels that live on campus. It was definitely very peaceful. It was nice to get away from school for a little bit and just be in a quiet place. Although, it made me miss home a little bit. In Maryland, there’s a place called Sugarloaf Mountain. It has an elevation of about 1300 feet. Once you get to the top, the view is amazing. So I have to say that this nature experience was nothing compared to what I have seen before, but I still enjoyed it. One thing that I was reminded of was end of Matthew 6. Which is in my poem J

 

When I walk around this campus I cant help but to think we could totally do our little field trip right here! I mean, this place is one big jungle. Take away the buildings and I’ll be in Jurassic Park. How’s that for nature? Anyways, the other day in class we talked more about nature and nature poetry. We read some scriptures from the Bible that pertained to nature as well. One of them was the end of Matthew chapter 6. We read “Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin..” Now, when I first read this I knew what the context was. Jesus was telling his disciples no to worry about food or clothing, and that if God can take care of nature, then he can certainly take care of us. I am not sure if I would apply that to nature poetry, but this verse helped me realize that Jesus took the time to admire his Fathers creation. Another verse that we read cam from the book of psalms. Psalm 19:1: “The heavens declare the glory of God;
 the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” One thing I like about this verse is that there is another verse in the New Testament that says all of creation is proof that God exists. So when I read, “the skies proclaim the work of His hands”, it reminded me that creation itself is the simple proof of God’s omnipresence. We also read psalm 139, which was my favorite out of all of them. The chapter talks about God’s omnipresence and complex goodness.  A couple of years ago I went to Peru for a mission’s trip. We stayed about two hours outside of Cusco up in the mountains. That trip caused me to look at nature in whole different way. I was awesome because I got a new glimpse of God’s glory.

State of the Planet

When I first read this poem, I was having a lot of trouble understanding it. I felt like each section of the poem was changing and had nothing to do with previous one. I actually didn’t really understand it at all.  Poetry is so hard to grasp sometimes because it is the authors own interpretation of something. Whether it is nature, grief, or life in general, the author always has some kind of metaphorical meaning to every line of the poem. And sometimes that can be a challenge to break down. There were a few lines in the poem that I found interesting.  One was in the first paragraph of the first section. It says “A Japanese plum throws off a vertical cascade of leaves the color of skinned copper, if copper could be skinned. I really liked that imagery because I felt like he was making something that is usually viewed as plain and unattractive into something beautiful. He took the element copper and used that to describe the color of the leaves. Which also indicated to me that it was the fall season. Another quote that I liked was in the fourth section: “It must be a gift of evolution that humans can’t sustain wonder. We’d never had gotten up from our knees if we could.” I don’t think I fully understand this line but it was one that caught my attention. I don’t think evolution is necessarily a gift. If anything, it brings us further away from the truth of creation. Even as I sit here now and think about it, I feel like this line almost contradicts itself. Would the theory of evolution sustain wonder to cause people to get up form their knees? I’m not too sure about that one. Overall this was one poem that took a lot of thinking. My brain hurts.

poetry prayer

Poetry is one of those things that I think I pretend to understand and interpret. Maybe if I read it certain way, like in a deep profound tone, then ill get out of it what I should. But that doesn’t seem to work.  I like that we are reading more poetic stuff in class, especially in the bible.  When we talked about the reading for transformation, it made me think of that quote “read for transformation, not just information.”  The quote that stuck out to me the most was one hat we read in class.. “When we pray with poetry, whether the biblical poetry of the psalms or non-biblical poetry open to Christian appropriation, we open ourselves to the possibility of spiritual experience.”  I was thinking, a lot of times when people pray they pray with a certain tone.  It is almost a poetic tone.  Whether it is from the Bible or our own words to God.  I think when we pray from the psalms, we open ourselves up to a spiritual experience.  There is definitely something different when we pray a God prayer as opposed to a good prayer.

I also just want to touch on when we talked about language in class. I’m not one who gets offended when we read books or stories that having cursing in them. I would rather read stuff that did not, there’s a lot clean material out there.  But I understand that we need to be exposed to the real world as well. The fact that we read literature that has bad language and fail to take it out is not so much about making God angry. Why would God get angry because someone says a curse word? That’s against God’s character. But it’s the heart behind it. When I read Colossians 3:8, that set it pretty clear in my mind that I should use profanity or any kinds of words that are socially unacceptable. I don’t think it’s right try and bargain with God on something like that.

Sonny's Blues

A short summery of Sonny blue's...Sonny’s Blues was one of those stories that was difficult for me to read through.  There was a lot of dialogue and emotion in the story.  The story starts out with the narrator reading in the paper that his brother had just been arrested for selling heroin. The narrator is a teacher at a school in Harlem. When he is at school, all he can think about are the boys who do not have bright futures and will probably get addicted to drugs at some point in their life. After school, he meets a friend of Sonny’s on the subway. He was grown up, but he was still out on the streets. I didn’t think the story gave a very good description of what Sonny looked like. It just says that his hair is dirty and that he smells “funky.”  At first during their conversation, the narrator seems as if he were going to judge him for where Sonny’s friend was at in life, being hooked on drugs. As they were talking, the narrator began to think back to the last time he saw his brother. It had been a year. The thought crossed his mind that he could have been the cause for Sonny’s addiction.  Later in the story it is found out that Sonny is not going to school. Instead, he is going over to hang with   his jazz friends, probably to do drugs. Once Isabel’s parents find this out, Sonny leaves their house, drops out of school, and joins the navy.  Towards the end of the story, the narrator and Sonny go to a jazz club.  Sonny completely blows the narrator away by his talent. It was cool to read about the connection that was made between these two characters.  It shows that even someone in the deepest pit can be pulled out if they have a hand to grab.

Good Reminder

 

So this is me just babbling on for about three hundred words.  When I look at the stories and notes that we’ve read, I honestly feel like the first few weeks of the class readings and assignments were better than what we have read in the last week or so.  I think my favorite reading assignment was from Joel.  I am always a fan of digging deeper into God’s word. When I read it for the first time, there was one particular verse that caught my attention which was 2:25. In the new living translation it says “I will give you back what you lost.” I guess I’m one of, if not the only student in the class who actually enjoyed talking about suffering and darkness. Although sometimes I can get hostile when other people think they know what suffering and darkness is about but they really have no idea. This past week has been pretty challenging itself.  With schoolwork, relationships, and just stuff happening, life feels like its just beats us to the ground sometimes.  Sometimes it feels like the suffering never stops, or when it looks like things are coming together, sometimes fall through or falls apart again.  The problem with us is that we fail to see the big picture of the situation.  Every Friday in my life of Christ class, we have a Q&A class where we can ask Dr. Hackett whatever we pertaining to the bible, Christianity, God, ect.  One of the girls in the class asked, well, she really made a statement, that she did not understand why God had to allow suffering and people to die in order for us to grow and mature.  As we were talking about it in class I was reminded of something. God is always in control. No matter how chaotic things get, He always has it under control. A lot of the times we fail to realize what God could be saving us from because we’re so focused on the worst of the situation.

Dreams Postponed

Everyone has dreams.  Everyone has that one thing where they say “if I could do anything in the world, I would do...” fill in the blank.  She was nine years old the first time her father told her that she was required to play some type of instrument.  That conversation at the dinner table didn’t go too well.  But she did what her dad said and played the clarinet.  That lasted about six months. 

Christine grew up with music.  She was always hearing the sound of gospel coming from the basement.  She was always hearing her father yelling at his manager on the phone. “I’m going to fire him!” Christine’s father said for about the 11 millionth time.  Christine’s father older than most dads of teenagers.  Her was very health conscience and very outgoing. He always had a way of telling the truth as well.  Even if it was harsh.  Christine’s father was a well known gospel musician overseas, and just like her father Christine was the performer of the family. She was pretty short, not that good looking, played a few instruments, but never really excelled at any of them.  Christine’s passion was for the drums.  Interesting, because her brother, Daniel was the one who begged for the drum kit. But when dad bought it, she started playing it more than her brother.  Soon she became pretty good at the drums.  Christine’s father always told her that she had a good foot for the base.  Coming from a musician with an ear for every little thing, that was a pretty big deal.

            Over time Christine learned how to read music by playing the trumpet.  She played in the concert and symphonic band throughout high school.   Christine even played on the drum line in the marching band.  She wasn’t out of the ordinary.  Half of the drum line were girls.  And being a girl who played drums was, well, normal.  In fact it was kind of cool.  The marching band was her element. Playing with other people, being the pulse of the band. This was her definitely her thing. While most would call people in the marching band geeks, Christine saw it as one of the cool things to do.  To her, the band was the main attraction and the football game was a side show. 

            Of course all good things must come to an end and Christine graduated high school with band being the very last thing that she did.  Every year the band had to go to graduations and play Stars and Stripes forever” and Pomp and circumstance.  After Christine graduated, she began to get more involved in music at her church.  Her dad was so proud to her getting more involved in the church, especially in music ministry.  But something was different about the bands in the church than in school.  One day the worship leader had an audition to be on the worship team.  Christine tried out, but it wasn’t her ability that caught the eyes of the leader, but it was that she was a female.  A girl playing drums in the church was unheard of.  Never seen before.  They didn’t know what to think of it.  On the other hand, they were very impressed with her skills.  Each time Christine went back to church, someone said something to her about that audition.  Every.  Eventually, after a long time of waiting she was able to play on the worship team. And once again, Christine had found her element.  Drumming for the youth and young adult band was one of her favorite things to do. It caused to start think long term in the future.  Christine always figured that if she didn’t know what to do with her life, she could always work for her father.  But now that thought didn’t seem like such a bad idea.  Her dad always told her that it would be a dream come true to see her play drums for the gospel band and travel throughout Europe.  Why not? It would definitely not be the typical job to have. And that’s what Christine wanted.

            As Christine went to a local college, she continued playing on the worship as long as they would allow her to.  Being a girl who played the drums was becoming more of natural thing for the people who liked to stereotype.  She became more confident and quit comparing herself to the other guy drummers.  After playing for about three years, her desire became to be a part of her father’s touring gospel group.  Her father was excited to get Christine rehearsing and she was excited as well.  She never knew that her entire life would shaken in the next 6 months.

            On a hot summer afternoon, Christine came home from work.  She was tired and hungry because she had been fasting with a group of people from her church.  Christine’s primary goal was to go to sleep as soon as she got home, but her dad had something to tell her and her brother Daniel. Her dad sat them down.  Anytime a person is asked to sit down before they tell you something, it’s not a good thing. She was starting to get nervous.  Were her parents getting divorced? Did someone die? The room was silent until the conversation started with some small talk.  That’s another bad sign. Small talk before the big news.  As her dad began to speak, he could see tears rolling down his face. It was that word that nobody wants to hear.  The “C” word. It was cancer.  He told them he would be starting chemotherapy. Suddenly all the dreams of being along side her father were slowly deteriorating.  Everything that they planned together was gone.  After six months of taking care of her father, he passed away. Now playing the drums was just a hobby.  When she would go to practice, she had no passion because there was no purpose.  The dream and vision that Christine had with her father was gone.  Or was it just postponed?  It seemed like all the hard work came to a stop and nothing mattered anymore.  At the same time, she found comfort in God’s grace.  Living out the fullness of God’s grace. 

Although the end of the story doesn’t have a bow-tie ending, Christine’s heart is still for music.  She keeps her eyes and heart on Romans 8:28. “God works all things together for the good of those love God and are called according to His purpose for them.  Going through the experience of death, Christine realized that dream does not die, but may just get postponed.

Everyone has dreams.  Everyone has that one thing where they say “if I could do anything in the world, I would do...” fill in the blank.  She was nine years old the first time her father told her that she was required to play some type of instrument.  That conversation at the dinner table didn’t go too well.  But she did what her dad said and played the clarinet.  That lasted about six months. 

Christine grew up with music.  She was always hearing the sound of gospel coming from the basement.  She was always hearing her father yelling at his manager on the phone. “I’m going to fire him!” Christine’s father said for about the 11 millionth time.  Christine’s father older than most dads of teenagers.  Her was very health conscience and very outgoing. He always had a way of telling the truth as well.  Even if it was harsh.  Christine’s father was a well known gospel musician overseas, and just like her father Christine was the performer of the family. She was pretty short, not that good looking, played a few instruments, but never really excelled at any of them.  Christine’s passion was for the drums.  Interesting, because her brother, Daniel was the one who begged for the drum kit. But when dad bought it, she started playing it more than her brother.  Soon she became pretty good at the drums.  Christine’s father always told her that she had a good foot for the base.  Coming from a musician with an ear for every little thing, that was a pretty big deal.

            Over time Christine learned how to read music by playing the trumpet.  She played in the concert and symphonic band throughout high school.   Christine even played on the drum line in the marching band.  She wasn’t out of the ordinary.  Half of the drum line were girls.  And being a girl who played drums was, well, normal.  In fact it was kind of cool.  The marching band was her element. Playing with other people, being the pulse of the band. This was her definitely her thing. While most would call people in the marching band geeks, Christine saw it as one of the cool things to do.  To her, the band was the main attraction and the football game was a side show. 

            Of course all good things must come to an end and Christine graduated high school with band being the very last thing that she did.  Every year the band had to go to graduations and play Stars and Stripes forever” and Pomp and circumstance.  After Christine graduated, she began to get more involved in music at her church.  Her dad was so proud to her getting more involved in the church, especially in music ministry.  But something was different about the bands in the church than in school.  One day the worship leader had an audition to be on the worship team.  Christine tried out, but it wasn’t her ability that caught the eyes of the leader, but it was that she was a female.  A girl playing drums in the church was unheard of.  Never seen before.  They didn’t know what to think of it.  On the other hand, they were very impressed with her skills.  Each time Christine went back to church, someone said something to her about that audition.  Every.  Eventually, after a long time of waiting she was able to play on the worship team. And once again, Christine had found her element.  Drumming for the youth and young adult band was one of her favorite things to do. It caused to start think long term in the future.  Christine always figured that if she didn’t know what to do with her life, she could always work for her father.  But now that thought didn’t seem like such a bad idea.  Her dad always told her that it would be a dream come true to see her play drums for the gospel band and travel throughout Europe.  Why not? It would definitely not be the typical job to have. And that’s what Christine wanted.

            As Christine went to a local college, she continued playing on the worship as long as they would allow her to.  Being a girl who played the drums was becoming more of natural thing for the people who liked to stereotype.  She became more confident and quit comparing herself to the other guy drummers.  After playing for about three years, her desire became to be a part of her father’s touring gospel group.  Her father was excited to get Christine rehearsing and she was excited as well.  She never knew that her entire life would shaken in the next 6 months.

            On a hot summer afternoon, Christine came home from work.  She was tired and hungry because she had been fasting with a group of people from her church.  Christine’s primary goal was to go to sleep as soon as she got home, but her dad had something to tell her and her brother Daniel. Her dad sat them down.  Anytime a person is asked to sit down before they tell you something, it’s not a good thing. She was starting to get nervous.  Were her parents getting divorced? Did someone die? The room was silent until the conversation started with some small talk.  That’s another bad sign. Small talk before the big news.  As her dad began to speak, he could see tears rolling down his face. It was that word that nobody wants to hear.  The “C” word. It was cancer.  He told them he would be starting chemotherapy. Suddenly all the dreams of being along side her father were slowly deteriorating.  Everything that they planned together was gone.  After six months of taking care of her father, he passed away. Now playing the drums was just a hobby.  When she would go to practice, she had no passion because there was no purpose.  The dream and vision that Christine had with her father was gone.  Or was it just postponed?  It seemed like all the hard work came to a stop and nothing mattered anymore.  At the same time, she found comfort in God’s grace.  Living out the fullness of God’s grace. 

Although the end of the story doesn’t have a bow-tie ending, Christine’s heart is still for music.  She keeps her eyes and heart on Romans 8:28. “God works all things together for the good of those love God and are called according to His purpose for them.  Going through the experience of death, Christine realized that dream does not die, but may just get postponed.

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painting

I kept forgetting to post the paintings. So here they are!

Character

The past couple days in class, we talked about character. So here is my little intake. Character is one of those words that people use to describe other people. “She has character” or “He’s quite a character.” So it depends on the context. I’ve never really had to write something about character, so bare with me. Character can be defined as someone who has moral or ethical quality. Honorable, or even a good reputation. When I look at this word, I can think of some pretty awesome people that have crossed my path who have great character. They are people who really stick out as a follower of Christ to me and won’t compromise their faith for anything. Character can also be tested as well, especially in the ministry. That I why, in my opinion, churches are one of the most difficult places to work, because it is the place where a lot peoples’ true character comes out. I believe that this past weekend showed the character of a lot of people. During the week of fire fall, students were encouraged to do an outreach at the freedom center. The freedom center is located in one of the more poor, urban areas in Lakeland. It’s kind of rough area. A lot people who I talked to about it had this judgmental attitude towards that area and people who lived there. Last year about 300 students came out to serve the community after Fire Fall. The theme for last years fire fall was “be the answer.” Obviously, it was all about being the answer to a broken world, or in Southeastern’s case, a broken community. So with all the hype about serving, a bunch kids came out to the outreach the following Saturday after fire fall. This year, we prepared for over 200 students to show up at the freedom center. We ended up getting about 60 students. Some may think that 60 students is not a successful mission. But I had never seen such servant hearts and humble attitudes in a long time. To me, the test of true character is if you’re willing to do not the cool thing, not the popular thing, but the right thing.

PASS

2nd pass :(

PASS

i pass. why do we have blogs during fire fall?

That little book towards the end of the old testament

I had read the book of Joel before but this was the first time that I dug deeper into this book of poetry. The second chapter of Joel was what really caught my attention. Joel calls the people to repent. Joel also tells us that although there will be chaos with earthquakes and darkness, God will make His spirit abundantly available in the last days. In verse 12 of the second chapter, we get an idea of Gods grace at hand…”Return to the Lord your God for He is gracious and compassionate and slow to anger, rich in faithful love.” This prophesy is meant to tell people how to live righteously in the midst of disaster. Now I know professor Corrigan did not want us to pay attention to the verses but it’s hard for me to take out sections without knowing what verse it is. In 2:28 it says that God will save all those who call upon Him. They will be saved from Gods wrath, if I should say. This book allowed the Lord to speak to me about His faithfulness and restoration. In 2:25 my translation (NLT) says “I will give you back what you lost.” The greatest tragedy of the locusts invasion was the loss of crops the loss of fellowship with God. But He is willing to take us back for a better future and give us back in full from what we have lost. I think that the book of Joel teaches that enough though we may not see it, God is still at work in the midst of the disaster. He is faithful to the faithless, and is full of love and compassion. Joel is one of those books that a lot of people skip over. Mainly because it is so short. But sometimes those small unnoticeable books can do a lot for you.

Painting!

When we painted in class today, I surprised that I actually knew what I was going for in my painting. As I talked about in the blog, I wanted to paint about what I read Joel chapter 2 about repentance and Gods restoration on Israel. I am definitely not an artist. At least not this kind of art, I’m more of a music person. It was kind of funny because as I was painting today, I thought to myself “I should start doing this more often and express myself with abstract art.” Then I got back to reality and realized that that would not be something I would be good at. I would go through the phase and get bored with it a few weeks later. Anyways.. In my painting I was going for the picture of darkness surrounded by Jesus. The black represents the darkness and the blue represents raging seas. I wanted to paint a facial figure in the middle but unfortunately I have no idea how to do that. So I just painted red in the center. I wanted to get the message across that God makes Himself accessible to us by the blood of Jesus. Even with all the disaster and destruction in the world, He has everything under control. Sometimes that is hard to see, but I don’t think we really realize how much He is saving us from. For my second painting, I wanted to draw a sunrise but I decided to just cover the paper with the colors of the sun instead. I haven’t really figured out what it means yet, I just like the colors :-). Doing this activity did not actually help me read better, but I enjoyed the challenge of putting on paper what we had in our minds. Definitely better than writing!

A House of Cards

I was immediately brought back to camp when we had t build the card house in class. I know it had some significant meaning. When we read what C.S. Lewis had to say about his faith, it made me think a lot about my own life. One of the things that C.S. Lewis said was that God already knew C.S. Lewis’ faith but God wanted him to discover that his faith was not as strong as he thought. I felt like that whole analogy of the cards house related to my own life. Before my dad passed away, everything was pretty much going well for me. I knew that my dad was sick but I was having faith in God that everything would work out. However, I failed to ask myself if I would still be able to praise God if the outcome of is illness didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I ended up losing my dad and for about the first month, my card house seemed pretty sturdy. Then eventually, I began questioning my faith and it seemed like everything fell apart. It’s interesting because when a person builds a card house, they do whatever they can to protect it because the slighted tap may bring everything down. After going through my questioning of the faith period, I not make sure to guard my heart in every circumstance. I do not know if this post made any sense at all. This was just kind of me babbling some of my thoughts. I’ve concluded that my faith is like a house of cards. I think it is a work in progress to have faith the size of a mustard seen as Jesus said. But if God has given us any reason to doubt Him but we choose to praise, it does not go unnoticed by the savior.

yay! Field trip to a cemetery!

This is my extra blog… I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.

We pass by cemeteries almost everyday when driving down road. But do we ever stop to think about the people who lost their lives and families who lost loved ones. I have to admit, after learning a little bit more C.S. Lewis’ wife; I didn’t actually want to read the book anymore. I would expect with someone like C.S. Lewis that he would be writing about the grief of his wife that was married to for 50 years. I don’t know why, but the whole three-year marriage and 17 year age difference just turned me off. Sorry, I just had to get that out there.

When I got to the cemetery I saw Zach and few minutes later we saw Matt, which made the experience a lot better. I can’t say that I felt any emotion while I was there. I have gone through enough grief that it has almost desensitized me in a way to death. As Matt and I walked around we talked about how a lot of the stones ere above ground. I had never seen a cement casket before. I was actually kind of strange that you could see the crease where it opened. Some of them were even cracked and dismantled. If you looked closely, might able to see a lovely corpse. I also noticed that even in this old graveyard, many of the tombstones had some religious symbol at the top of the stone. Most of them were crosses. But some were different. I didn’t know what they meant. A few days before I left to come back here I went to Arlington cemetery to see my dads plaque. As I was walking around look at all the other names and thinking how cool it was that every single person was in some military branch. Many fought and died for our country, and to me, that’s not a wasted life. I thought about people whose names I saw on the tombstones today. Did they really live a God-filled life? Who knows? I do know that tomorrow is not promised which gives me more reason to live for God before anyone else.

Luke 24

I am going to attempt to elaborate on what we read in Luke 24 today. It is true that certain things that Jesus does or says quite frequently in the Gospels. The fact that Jesus is reaching people with more conversation rather than miracles was something that first came to mind to me today in class. Another thing that was mentioned through out the New Testament is discipleship. The word “disciple” is used 233 times in the whole New Testament. It rarely talks about anything less than being disciples of Jesus. So this was something I thought of when Professor Corrigan talked about how Jesus was reaching people by simple conversation. I loved what the followers said in verse 32, “didn’t our hearts burn inside of us as He talked with us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?” Even when God kept them from recognizing Him, Gods glory was shining through Jesus and they felt that! Miracles are great, but sharing the Gospel starts with a simple conversation. It’s like giving them the simplicity of God. It doesn’t need to be complicated, but simply showing the passion and love for Christ. I think my favorite quote came from one of the professors here is “Christianity cannot always be defined by miracles, sometimes it has to be defined by the restraint of power instead of the use of power.” Think of this: when Jesus was hanging on the cross and Pharisees yelled for him to prove himself by coming down from the cross, He certainly could called the angels to rescue him but He didn’t. Instead Jesus proved Himself by enduring the cross. Of course when we make conversation with people about God, my prayer is that they would see God in us right away!

Field Trip!

I thoroughly enjoyed out "field trip” to Chartwells on Tuesday. A lot of the discussion was mostly about the different kinds of books we liked.  Most of our table liked fictional books. Sidenote… I award Zach Smith with quote of the day: “I’m a pillow fight kind of guy.” I am definitely picky when it comes to reading.  I can never get into fictional books.  Star Wars, Twilight, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, and all the popular books that people would camp out at night to buy the first day… I never got into those books.  I may watch the movie but I was never the one to criticize about much better the book was than the movie.  I guess I could say I read more for information.  It depends on what kind of information.  I read a lot of Christian living books written by different pastors.  I like reading to gain a new perspective on something in my spiritual life.  Some of my favorite books are Crazy Love, Enjoying God, God Whispers, Unchristian, and Drawing Near. All those books helped me grow in some way.   The only fictional book that I have recently read all the way through is The Shack.  Some pastors may criticize the shack for not being theologically or biblically correct but I think it is definitely one of the few fiction books that can change your life.  Towards the end of lunch we got into talking a little bit about music.  I personally enjoy all kinds of music. I’m not a country music fan, and that seems to be most peoples’ tastes. Another side note: I felt a lot better knowing that music was a form of literature.  I found it more comfortable talking about that than talking about actually books.  I started reading grief observed the other day.  First chapter was pretty intense.  There were definitely some quotes in there that I could relate to.

He had it comin'

He had it comin’

That is probably one of the my favorite songs in the musical “Chicago.”  Six women singing a song about how she killed her husband for doing her wrong. Classic entertainment right there.  I thoroughly enjoyed listening to “Frankie and Johnny” yesterday.  I never take folk or country songs seriously, but I do like that they always tell a story.  Some of them are sad and some are quite humorous.  I am not sure if this song was meant to be taken seriously, but I think the whole class got a good laugh out it. It’s funny that a song that doesn’t sound threatening at all can be so brutal. I had never really dug deeper into a song like we did in class. I usually listen to the lyrics but I do not always break them down to each word or phrase. I liked that we could ask questions and discuss how we would interpret a certain line in the song. although it is pretty straight forward. i feel like that's how marriages worked back in the day. if the husband is unfaithful, the bullets will going flying. hence, he had it comin

            Reading “Sure Thing” was also enjoyable. I wish I could have a bell that rings anytime I say something wrong.  I would rather have a warning ring so I don’t actually make the mistake of saying something out loud that I shouldn’t have.  Overall I enjoyed the class more than I thought I would. the discussion, activities, and of course the singing made time go by pretty fast, which is a good thing.  It was definitely unconventional. I am looking forward to the rest of the semester and interesting in what we are going to read.

Profile

I have never been much of reader.  It’s a lot for me to actually get through an entire book, unless it has sparked my interest. My earliest memories of literature are having my mom read me the Bernstein Bears books.  Remember reading all the books and eventually memorizing them. My most recent memories of literature are reading a lot of poems and stories when I took English comp 2 with Professor Kirk.  We had to interpret and write a lot of what we read and share our opinions.  I think that one I discovered I was slow reader, I did not read as much.  I would say the most significant literary text I have read has been the Bible. Although it sounds cliché, I thoroughly enjoy studying and interpreting different scripture.  Literature matters because I believe it is important to know what a person is reading.  It is helpful to gain a better understanding of the text, that way one can grasp the full purpose of the text.  Literature does not matter to me as much unless it something that sparks my interest as I said before. I am not the fastest reader, therefore I don't read as much.